My son is three years old. I always wanted to get pregnant with my second child between when he was two and three. It just seemed like the perfect timing. When he turned one i started having that itch. It got stronger when friends would get pregnant or have a baby. The timing was not right though, plus after having Daniel i had really bad PPD. I won't elaborate now, but maybe some future post. Anyways, it was horrible. I don't want that happening again, though i know it is out of my control to some extent.
After Cesar left to Mexico the desire to have more kids disappeared. Maybe it was the current living situation (me at my parents, husband in another country) but even looking forward, to when we are together i am terrified of the idea of more kids. I don;t want to share my love of Daniel with someone else. I want him to be able to have things he wants, and with living in Mexico in the future, another child is another expense. I want to be able to fly home and take him do Disneyland and to the ocean and all that stuff. Not have to worry how i will afford another plane ticket.
On the flip side though, i want him to have a sibling (another one close to his age i should say, since he does have two older siblings) I want him to have that bond. I would love a little girl, and just as much i would love another sweet little boy. I would love him to have a playmate. And this may sound morbid, but God forbid something happen to Daniel, i want to still have kids. I want someone to visit me when i am old. I want grandchildren. I want my grandchildren to have cousins.
Maybe when we are all together again my feelings will change. But for now i know we are not ready, or at least i am not ready. I will instead enjoy every moment with my sweet little boy.
This is him a few hours after birth
I can't believe he was ever that small.
Here he is around 4 months. He was very pretty and everyone thought he was a girl
Around 1yrs old
Around 2yr old
Well i was gonna post some current ones, but it is taking so long that i will do it in a future post....
3 comments:
My gosh those eyes he is just to cute. For sure once you are back together under the same roof you will both know what is the right way to go.
Yep. Thankfully that day is not to far away! I just feel badly because most of the only children i know say they wish they had siblings.
I'm sure it's hard to even consider another baby right now, given what's going on with your housing issues.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was sad for a minute. Lauren wouldn't understand why we wanted another baby and she'd be jealous. Or she'd think we didn't love her enough. (Of course none of that matters now;)
But even as crazy as my family is, I'm glad to have 2 sisters. I wouldn't want to be an only child.
You'll know when/if it's right. :)
Post a Comment